How do you guarantee a handkerchief? Do they just wink out of existence on day 366? How exactly do I claim on this guarantee should the handkerchiefs that caused such merriment in December let me down horrifically come July? Is the 'charmingly gay variety' of 'fancy Christmas boxes' guaranteed too?
This raises more questions than it answers, before we even deal with the implausible statement that hankies are 'sure-to-please'. Get it sorted, Pickles.